Happy Birthday to Audrey

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Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday my dear Audrey. Happy Birthday to you…

You, my little sweet, are one in a million. You know what you want already and go after it. Your smile could light up Darrell K. Royal Stadium. Your laugh is one of the sweetest sounds I’ve ever heard. You are such a special You – and I can barely remember what it was like before you were part of our family.

We are so lucky and I’m loving watching every moment you grow, grow, grow…

Has it really been one year? It HAS! It has gone by way way way too fast…Before I know it you will be walking and talking and cracking the whole family up with your bubbly personality.

I love you Audrey.

–Mom

 

Audrey’s 12 month appointment stats:
Height: 29.5 – 62%
Weight: 17.11 lbs – 18%
Head: 45.5 – 63%


Mammoth for Thanksgiving! The Plague…and now ’tis the season!

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We went to Mammoth for Thanksgiving this year. I love Mammoth – I hate the drive. Holy cow it is just soooooo long. The kids were actually pretty good for the ride. Despite Bella coming downstairs on Thanksgiving morning and vomiting all over the kitchen floor and bringing what I like to refer to as “The Plague” into the celebration – we had a really nice time. Poor kid – she actually only had the one incident that day, and just seemed a bit more tired than usual for a couple of days…(a few hours after puking, she asked to go outside to build a snowman…so we were relieved she wasn’t stuck in a bathroom all day…) Did I mention we had 7 adults and 6 kids staying in the house with us? I was obsessed with Lysol wipes, and so scared we were going to pass it along to everyone there. Unfortunately, it did pass on to Hannah and Audrey – only a week later.  This sickness was a mean one – comes back to make you relapse (causing poor little Bella to puke all Saturday night and Sunday on the way home) and then Bella was stuck with a fever for a week following. She went all pasty and pale – so Jeremy and I were just starting to lose sleep about it, but finally she has bounced back this week. Poor little Audrey went through it too – with second relapse and all, but luckily no fever yet…

But, I digress…Thanksgiving was actually really nice. Jeremy Howard made an amazing maple bacon covered baked turkey that was fabulous, Amy made her famous apple pie, and everyone brought these wonderful sides that made quite a traditional spread. We went through way too many bottles of red wine, laughed with all of our friends and let the kids play and watch endless amounts of TV (Bella WAS sick after all…) We even went out on the mountain for some early season snowboarding. All in all a great trip with good friends. We certainly will miss our buddies the Radcliffe’s – as they are moving to Texas in January, and this was a nice way to spend some good quality time with them before they go.

Tonight we went on our “Neill Family Christmas Outing” to the SD Botanical Garden of Lights. We roasted marshmellows and made S’mores, ate dinner in the garden, visited Santa Claus, walked around checked out the lights, listened to the Carlsbad Carrollers – it was a lovely evening – Audrey was terrified of Santa – but she is going through a mommy phase right now, so that is to be expected. As we were walking away, he snuck up behind us for a photo, but she was pretty much onto him and not budging on her opinion. It was pretty funny. But Bella actually sat on his lap and told him what she wants for Christmas “MAKEUP” (we are awesome parents…) – All was great right up until the very end when disaster occurred…

They bring snow in and had a sledding hill. Bella checked it out right when we arrived and promptly decided she did NOT want to do it. But at the end when we were leaving, she said she wanted to go check out the snow again. So we went over and I said that I would go on it with her if she wanted to do it. We got right up to the sled and she said “NO I changed my mind, I don’t want to go…” I said ok – but the lady was super insistent – said “Oh Mom, why don’t you just get on and go. (It was wet, I really didn’t want to get wet…but she was very pushy so I said ok. Then the crowd was like – your mom is on, go on and just hop on with her…”) I said, “Hop on with me Bella – so she did…We went down – it was fun…until we crashed right into Jeremy at the bottom of the hill and fell out. Bella hit her face on his leg or boot (I think) and has blood around one of her top front teeth and screamed the whole way home. Said it hurt really bad. Poor thing – went straight to bed (by choice). I’m hoping it is ok tomorrow, but if not, guess we’ll be making our way to the Dentist in the morning. The photo is awesome though because it is the happy part of the slide. Check it out…I’m really hoping this doesn’t scare her away from liking snow sports!

Audrey turns 1 on Friday. ONE YEAR. It has gone by so fast. She is so precious – just growing and growing. She is still a peanut though – I wish she would gain weight. Before “The Plague” she was sleeping through the night a bit, but last night I was up with her at 10pm, 1:45am and then up at 6am.  She was super fussy all day today too – so I am about to go crash right now in case we have a long night again. We are trying to think of a fun family celebration for her on Saturday…I do plan to make a cake (that is all natural ingredients)!! I still can’t believe she is already turning 1. Not walking yet – but saying little words here and there – and I can tell she is understanding alot more too!

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Audrey

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She sure is growing. She is such a social baby – smiling and cooing at people. She is a bit of a tease as she will reach for whoever is close by, but as they try to grab her then she backs away. This child can MOVE. She is so fast and loves to explore and get into everything (especially stuff you don’t want her to…like plastic bags, Bella’s tiny toys, sticks the dog brings in…) You literally can not take your eyes off of her if she is free to move about unless the area is completely baby proofed (our house is not…) The other day, she took the door stop right out of the wall.

She is eating more and more – and has about 7 teeth and more on the way every week. She loves to stand on her own and balance right now. Hasn’t taken a step yet – but I’m hoping that happens soon. She is also imitating sounds, and can say “Da Da”, “Hi”, “Wa Wa” (water), “Be Ba” (Bella), and “Ba Ba” (Ma Ma). She actually knows what those mean – and seeing that comprehension is so much fun. She just learned to make the “S” sound – and we were doing it back and forth the other night when I was nursing her and she was just cracking up. Her little baby laugh just melts my heart.

We’ve all had a nasty cold since Halloween, but I think we are all finally over it (I’m knocking on wood as I type this…) and the past two nights Audrey finally slept through the night again. YEA!

I haven’t posted in a while, and with the holidays coming up (and Audrey’s birthday), I thought I’d just try to jot down a couple of notes so I don’t forget. I’ve been cooking up some pre-thanksgiving treats today…looking forward to turkey with our friends. Gobble Gobble.

I finally downloaded photos from the good camera. These are from Sept-Now.

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Happy Halloween!

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So much has been going on that I am just now getting on to post the Halloween photos! And these are just the ones from my iPhone – much better ones are on the good camera.

We went to Texas for Dee Dee and Richard’s wedding. I am really glad that my Mom has found happiness – as I don’t want her to feel alone anymore; but it is still pretty difficult to imagine celebrating family affairs with anyone but my Dad – as he has not been gone for very long, and now it feels awkward to even speak about him at what I used to consider his “home”. Richard seems like a nice guy though, and my mom certainly seems happy with him, so I’m hoping we can all get to know him more and that the awkwardness fades as time moves forward. They had a very nice ceremony at their church and Bella got to be a flower girl with Chandler. They were super cute – it was fun to see them all dressed up like princesses.

Speaking of Dad, I still think of him all the time – especially lately as Audrey is coming into her personality even more. It is weird to me to think that she will never have even gotten to meet him. I doubt Bella will really even remember him – but at least I can show her pictures of the two of them together and I know that he got to see my first pride and joy.

Speaking of my first pride and joy…Little miss Bella is always a ball of fun. She is certainly still challenging to Jeremy and I – but I feel like we are getting a bit out of the tantrum stage and moving into a more of a reasonable mindset. Bella is a tough cookie when it comes to “figuring out” how to find that great balance of setting limits/expectations and giving freedoms and having fun. She likes to take “fun” to the very outer limit of what is acceptable, so I feel like I can’t really let go, instead I have to be careful to not set a bad example as once we do something once (ie-read one extra chapter of a book before bed because we have extra time one night) it sets an expectation for every night that can lead to a mini tantrum. I guess this is the hard part of parenting. You want to do some of the fun things with your kids that they want to do too – but you realize that you have to set a good example and get chores and such done in the 24 hours you are given in the day. An example of this is that we have now stopped the five minute “snuggle” as she falls asleep at night. This was causing me and Jer to fall asleep and be less productive at night, instead we just give big hugs and kisses and wish a good night. She still asks though for the snuggle every night but makes a deal for an extra chapter of reading instead. The other night, I’m sick and Jeremy was gone and I really would have liked to just cuddle up in her bed for a bit, after all she is still my baby even if she doesn’t think so…but I knew what would happen the next night when I need to do the dishes, laundry and still get some sleep before Audrey wakes me up. So I gave her the extra reading and headed off to my own room. I get sad sometimes because she is growing so fast and even though I know it is my job to teach her to be independent and take care of herself, I still think of her as my little baby that I snuggled every morning for the first year of her life. But on the flip side a week like this week, where I see her behave politely at a restaurant with an out of town guest, take no for an answer when she asks for more Halloween candy than she needs in a day, calm herself when she is ready to throw a tantrum and really frustrated, and being kind to our neighbor when the other kids are scaring him on the trampoline, I am so proud of the little girl she is growing into.  I definitely see that Bella responds best to consistency when it comes to setting limits. She also responds well when we notice and praise the behavior we like her to have, and spend less time threatening and more time acting (ie-immediately giving a time out when she misbehaves on purpose). These are not natural ways for me to “discipline” but I am working on it day by day. Hopefully I won’t screw her up too much.

The birth order of children is really interesting to me. I often regret that I don’t get to spend as much time fawning on and enjoying Audrey’s babyhood – as to me, it is such a precious time. But at the same time I realize that even though Bella received oodles and oodles of attention, she is the test subject when it comes to us figuring out what works as parents – so she has to deal with us making a lot more mistakes and I think that makes the discipline learning curve more difficult for her. For example, Bella never had to be patient as a baby, as there was nothing to hold me up. Now both kids have to be patient for everything…for Audrey, this is just the way things have always been – but for Bella it is a whole new world of “how life works”.  In hindsight – it would have been easier to make her wait more as a baby…but as they say…hindsight is 20/20. I think having two kids makes Jeremy and I better parents as a whole though and I think it is best for Bella and Audrey to have each other – so hopefully that will offset some of our mistakes we make. 🙂

Speaking of that beautiful baby sister, Audrey…Oh man, she is in that super cute let me blow raspberries on your belly and sing to you all day phase. She has a smile that just lights up a room. I can’t help smiling around her. Neither can Bella or Jeremy. She has been growing so fast – she is starting to try to stand on her own now – and I’m hopeful she will try to walk someday soon. I will be SO excited when she stops crawling – as she loves to put EVERYTHING in her mouth that she finds on the floor and she is super fast at it – so you have to keep one eye on her at all times.  She is into finger foods now – likes banana, tofu, steamed peas – broccoli – carrots, puffs/cherrios – she would really rather that than the soft stuff, but she will still have her favorites – spinach/potato, winter squash and oatmeal pretty easily. And she is starting to like the little pouch foods (what a neat invention!) and has learned to “suck” the pouches and the novelty of that makes her happy. She likes apple/blueberry/spinach the best of those so far. I’m still nursing her – but I am thinking I will probably wean her after we travel for Christmas. She still snuggles with me every morning and even though she wakes me at an absolutely unreasonable hour 5am or even earlier, I cherish those moments knowing that they will only last a few more short months.

She is still not much of a napper. Maybe an hour or two max per day (an hour is pretty standard). She just doesn’t seem to need it all that much – she is happy even without it, but she does crash easily at night pretty early (7pm).

She says “hi” and I think she is trying to say Ma and Da and she says Be for Bella.

Oh – and she went to her first UT game a nail biter against Baylor. She was a champ lasting late into the night on me and flirting with everyone in the stands.

I can’t believe that she is almost 1 year old. This year has gone by SO fast. Too fast…

Oh yeah…wow, I really digressed from Halloween. It was a blast! We had our annual pumpkin carving party and Bella was a clown and Audrey was a lady bug. I thought this year Bella would want to run with the bigger kids, but she was so content talking to all the neighbors when they opened their doors for trick or treating and checking out all the decorations, that we took it slow. I love that about her. She really loves every detail of Halloween.

Who is that photo bombing our shot?!?!?!!?!?!?!?

50 yard line tickets for the second half about 7 rows up…wow…cool way to see a game.


MiMi Visits and Audrey Update

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After Kevin’s wedding, MiMi came back to San Diego for a visit with the girls and helped me while Jeremy was out of town. As usual, Bella and MiMi had a blast together. They made it to the zoo twice – played countless hours of doctor and MiMi even made a surprise visit to her preschool as a mystery reader. We also hung out a Moonlight beach and MiMi did a little bonding with Audrey while I headed out to the gym. At the end of this post are some of the photos. It was a wonderful visit!

I also wanted to update a little about what is going on with Audrey. It is amazing to me how things change with her weekly – and I don’t feel like I’ve posted enough about her growth. Boy – is she GROWING! Some of the things she loves to do right now that I never want to forget:

  • She crawls SO fast – and loves it when Bella crawls with her for a race or sets up an obstacle course for her.
  • She will mimic you if you stick your tongue out with lilulilulilu sounds – it is hilarious.
  • She can clap on command
  • She is eating more finger foods – peas, broccoli, tofu, soft cooked carrots, blueberries
  • She is so determined – and does not like it if you take anything she is into away – she is not easily distracted either
  • She doesn’t really sleep that much. 7pm-5am is pretty normal with 1 one hour nap a day plus *maybe* a catnap in the afternoon. But she seems to function fine on that amount of sleep – she just barely makes it to 7pm though.
  • She has been sick since labor day. Seriously, snotty nose always…maybe a cold, maybe allergies, maybe teething…who knows? Wonder what she would sleep like if she could breathe.
  • She is very attached to the people she knows well – and is now a little hesitant to move to “new” people – but can be persuaded easier than Bella was at this age. (For example, she was fine with MiMi after a little bonding time or she will tolerate the gym daycare…) She loves the moment Jeremy comes home – and gets mad and cries if he heads straight upstairs to change without giving her what she feels is a proper greeting!
  • She is a great eater as long as it is something she likes. If she doesn’t like it, or is done – she literally spits it all over. It is actually really funny, but I don’t laugh because I don’t want to encourage her.

She is just this beautiful bright happy star – and I’m having so much fun in her babyhood enjoying her sweetness and cuddliness. She gives everyone in the family heartwarming smiles that change the day. We are so lucky to have her. I love you sweet little Audrey!

 


Welcome to the family, Aunt Shawna!

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This past weekend the family went to Las Vegas for Kevin & Shawna’s wedding.

Shawna has particularly endeared herself to me from the first time we met.  My mom was in the hospital in critical condition and (having no experience with babies) she agreed to care for Audrey when she was just a wee four weeks old. She would play with her, change her, and get her down for naps and then bring her to me at the hospital every three hours to nurse. She followed all my crazy instructions. She was so cool under pressure. Most people would be a bit stressed caring for a newborn for the first time – in a small hotel room at that – but she was as graceful as an experienced caregiver. She and Audrey had an immediate bond, and I noticed this weekend whenever they were in the same room, Audrey couldn’t get enough of looking at her…(of course, she did look like a princess in that dress and hairband – at least that is what Bella thought…so that could have been the reason too!) She was there for Kevin during the stress, and available to my mom for whatever she needed. I remember clearly saying to Kevin after only knowing her for mere hours – “You need to marry this one!!” He said he already had plans in the works for it…

This summer we got to hang again during our trip in Big Sky – and she and Bella hit it off as well. She even endured a long hike with all of the young ones with total patience as the cousins teased each other and took all of her mints, begging to stay by her the whole time. She is fun for us adults to hang with as well, thoughtful on top of all that helpfulness – and that seals the deal for me (not that I really had any say in the matter… 🙂

I couldn’t be happier for Kevin – as this is the happiest he has looked in years – and I also couldn’t be happier for our family getting to welcome such a wonderful sister-in-law into the mix. We had a great time at the wedding visiting with everybody – and Bella in particular had a great time with all the Lei’s at the reception dinner. 🙂

Congrats to my awesome brother and sis-in-law!


Bella’s first swim competition

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At the request of her instructor, Bella went to her first swim competition last weekend. (She thought it might give her some motivation to work harder at lessons…) It was super mellow – most of the kids are ages 4-7 – they swim in their regular suits. They have the choice to dive or start from in the pool (we chose in the pool, since she hasn’t learned diving yet…) She raced the 25 meter freestyle – and her instructor even swam ahead in the lane to cheer her on.

I was pretty nervous about this. She is a great little swimmer especially for her age – but she gets nervous sometimes in weird situations in the water. I was crossing my fingers and just hoping she would make it the whole length of the pool without panicking or going to the side. She didn’t just make it – SHE WON FIRST PLACE!! Jeremy and I were so proud of her for just making it – and she was so proud of herself for winning the race. She has been showing off her BLUE ribbon to everyone. At the end of the meet – they throw a bunch of coins in the pool, and the kids can dive for them. She loved that!

I would definitely say this tactic worked! She really listened during her swim lessons this week – and even tried to dive off the big block (although she was only supposed to jump.. it resulted in a belly flop that she swears didn’t hurt…) The instructor then tried to teach her diving from the side – which she did pretty good at! She is so brave! (I was cringing the whole time thinking about how hard that is to learn at first..) I am so proud.

When we were playing in the play pool after lessons, she figured out how to do a front flip in the water. She was so excited to show me over and over again – and I loved watching it. Her interest in swimming is definitely renewed and I couldn’t be more excited for her!


Unplugged and Glamping

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We spent Labor Day weekend in Palomar Mountain with tons of good friends..glamping. What a fantastic way to spend the weekend. I can’t believe we have such a rustic beautiful area close by (door to door it was less than two hours!) and we are just now finding it.

We stayed in a cabin a Baileys Palomar Resort with the Radcliffe family (Thank goodness for Terri – she took a bunch of photos – I didn’t even take one!!), and a bunch of our friends came up and tent camped right by it as well. We didn’t do a whole lot – and cell phones don’t work – and the kids were in heaven with all the dirt and crazy kittens and such – and I think we just had a good time hanging out together. My favorite was checking out the Boucher lookout – you can see all the way to the ocean from the mountains – and next time we go, I really want to check out some of the trails in the Doane Valley camp ground – as that area looked beautiful. We picnicked by the pond the day we left. There will definitely be a “next time..”

It is so much fun to watch Bella play with the other kids and see how much she has grown socially. Kaelyn and her play really well together. They have VERY different personalities – and I think that is what makes them enjoy each other so much. Kaelyn had Bella playing with princesses, and Bella even got Kaelyn to play with worms (they made a house in the picnic area and were protecting the worms from bees…hilarious…) It will be fun as we watch them grow and hang out as families to be able to tell them that they have been friends since they were teeny tiny babies. I hope Audrey and Hannah will grow to be good friends as well. They were pretty funny playing out in Nate’s makeshift camp play pen this weekend. Both seem to be pretty happy and mellow “second” kids, despite not sleeping very well all weekend.

Speaking of second kids. I was thinking this morning about the differences between raising your first versus your second. With Bella, I nursed in private in my bedroom day in and day out, and was mortified every time I had to nurse in public. Little Audrey is more likely to be nursed in the Ergo Carrier out and about than she is in the home since we are constantly on the go. I don’t even think twice about it anymore. I sleep trained Bella gently using the Baby whisperer method and spent many a night on her floor with my hand on her belly – and in general she was a pretty good sleeper – by 8 months we were easily getting a full night of sleep, even if it took a good 30 minutes to put her down. Audrey learned quickly to fall asleep on her own, but still wakes in the night and I have no clue how I am going to address it. With Bella, I was constantly taking her temperature, worried about a little sneeze, bringing her to the doctor for them to just tell me she was just fine. With Audrey, I am much more relaxed, realizing babies just cry sometimes from teething, etc. and comfortable just offering her the comfort I can without heading up to the doc. I made most of Bella’s baby food, and as a result, she wouldn’t even touch the jarred stuff. Audrey has gotten about half/half – there are so many good organic options now – and she seems to be doing just fine. I felt so guilty leaving Bella for half an hour at the gym to workout, and they would call me every time because she would cry so hard for me. With Audrey, I realize that it is good for her – and me to allow her to have some time trusting other adults to care for her while I get a little exercise so that I can be more energized for our day. I guess it all just boils down to experience. I feel like I am definitely more relaxed this time around. I still worry about big stuff (Audrey’s weight, whether she is going to choke on something, whether Bella is going to break her playing “nicely” with her, is she getting enough one on one attention from me…), but it is nice not to have to dwell on the small stuff.

I was also thinking about being a mom this morning. The last few nights have been particularly hard, as I think Audrey has a little cold or teething or something, so I haven’t been sleeping a bunch. (I am a big fan of sleep as most people know…) So instead of working this morning I went straight to the gym when Annie arrived to try to get some exercise to help with my energy levels. So often I hear complaints and worries about motherhood that are so true, “I can’t even pee by myself”, “she doesn’t play with other kids all she wants is me”, “when will she learn to follow directions”, “I can’t wait until…” all of these things are valid – and believe me I have been there and said many myself. It is really hard to try to teach kids to behave kindly and be helpful and thankful… But at the same time, I was thinking how lucky I am to have these two precious beings in my life. How lucky am I that one of them would prefer to be with me over any other kid in the whole world even though I am grumpy some days, and the other just wants a glimpse of or cuddle from me at night so she can feel snuggly and warm as she gets her rest. These kids need me – and I need them. Motherhood is such a hard right of passage for women – as often you lose yourself in the needs of your kids, but at the same time it is just the most rewarding experience you could ever have. Every once in a while I have to pinch myself to remind me that I need to be grateful for these wonderful people in my life (including such a wonderful husband that works so hard and helps with the kids too) even when I am tired. 🙂

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Lazy, Hot Weekend

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We had a lovely, hot (seriously ridiculous – get me in some water, HOT!) weekend. I know you people in Texas think I am crazy – but when you don’t have an air conditioner – mid-80’s is REALLY hot. As I type, I know I am about to go to sleep in a room that is at 82 degrees…yuk.

Thought I’d spend a few minutes tonight catching up on my record keeping.

Audrey –
IS ALL OVER THE PLACE!! She is into EVERYTHING. She can now crawl – FAST – and pulls up on everything and wants to explore everything…including every stick that Hazel brings in on her fur to our floor…she particularly likes to put these in her mouth. We had our first choking incident this weekend. Scary. You seriously can not take your eyes off of her for even a second. She doesn’t want to sit still at all (not that she ever really did…), she is even irritated when you make her sit still for a BATH (which she used to LOVE). Diaper changes are pretty much a disaster – she tries to roll away. It is actually pretty funny, but frustrating at the same time when there is a chance of poop getting everywhere. She has started napping a little bit here and there – normally we can get a morning hour or so if we are home. She is sleeping somewhat through the night (4 out of 7 nights probably?) Normally from around 7 until 5am. She is doing so much better with eating – although she still doesn’t like apple, and I have avoided avocado altogether – she is now eating 3 baby food meals/day plus nursing 4-5 times…but she is still a little peanut! She loves oatmeal, sweat potato, yellow squash – and will tolerate peas, zucchini, carrots, pears, prunes and tofu. I’m doing about half home-made, half jarred stuff. Overall, she is such an easy going, happy baby – as long as she gets to move about a bit..and as long as you don’t take away whatever she is playing with. She is VERY possessive of whatever she is into at the moment, and she does not “forget” easily when you take it away. She is very into me, Bella and Daddy – especially Bella – no one can make her laugh as hard as Bella can.

Bella –
Is such a big, capable 4 year old. She can do so much – and is able to help out alot, too (when she is in the mood to!) She is really getting good at swimming – can do freestyle and is working on backstroke. She is always happiest around water. She is starting to make little friends, too. She is especially attached to Owen, our neighbor. When they leave for a vacation, she literally counts the days until he is going to return. It is so cute. I love it too – because they really play nicely together! We’ve starting doing play dates with some of her preschool friends as well, and she has been enjoying that as well. It is nice to see her become social and I love watching her play. She is very creative – loves pretend play at the moment. Her scenarios will range from going on a vacation, going surfing, going to the farmers market to going to a store. She love to do shows on her mini-tramp for us, and she still loves a good story. We have started reading the magic tree house books – and I am really enjoying reading these mini-novels to her. She is also starting to recognize letters – and to me that is SO exciting!! I think reading will open a whole new world to this kid!!! She and Jeremy still have this amazing special bond that has deepened so much over the last year. I know I am biased – but I think she is so darn smart – and I worry all the time about her – enjoying school, finding friends, knowing right from wrong, figuring out how to appreciate and enjoy the world around her…This part of being a parent is very difficult for me. I like to control everything – it is pretty hard to let go and know she will get through it. When she is happy – there really isn’t a kid who could be more fun to be around…when she’s tired or cranky – whew, watch out! She is SO attached to little Audrey, and still so family-oriented. It melts my heart that when you ask her where she would like to go for her next vacation, the answer is always family oriented- (Mi Mi’s, DeeDees – visit cousins, grandpa George, etc…) Even though we live so far away, she gets the family thing.


That feeling…

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You know that feeling that you have when you hold your baby, and they snuggle in real close, pushing their forehead into your chest, with the top of their head nestled in your arm – and you look down and see these perfect eyes, nose and lips and perfectly soft skin. And they look back up at you with an innocent possessive – your MY mom stare – and you know you would do ANYTHING to keep them safe and happy FOREVER.

Today, Jeremy and Bella were hanging out at the Y pool, and Audrey and I had a little alone time. And after her nap, she just wanted a little snuggle time, and I had one of those moments. Audrey just snuggled in, and then gave me one of her huge grins. I’m lucky – I get to have these moments all the time right now. She is so precious to me. I’m going to miss these moments. It is amazing to me how much a baby can communicate without being able to speak.

I remember when I would have them with Bella. Those snuggling moments are not nearly as often as they used to be now that she is 4. (Although the feeling that I would do anything to protect her and love her dearly still remains…) She would look at me with her soft brown eyes and (unable to say a word), just snuggle right into my chest.

I sure do love my girls. Wanted to have a written reminder of that moment today for every time I get frustrated with something silly in the future.