Today I took Bella to the Dentist for the very first time – and she was SUCH a champ, I am sooooooo proud of her. Thought I’d jot down some notes about her growth, so I can remember in a few months…

Bella is really growing up fast. She loves music, and loves to sing and dance and bounce on her horsie while singing as well. Lately, it seems I have a children’s music CD going full blast in the house at all times. She really prefers the fast songs (so she can bounce faster or march with drums/shakers) more than the slow at the moment. (Ants go marching, Head Shoulders Knees and Toes…) She knows the words to way more songs than I do!  We go to a kindermusic class and she LOVES it. She dances and sings and plays with all of the instruments – it is the highlight of her week. She also goes to gymnastic class once a week now – and I really feel like it is helping her to become stronger and a bit more balanced (although I am afraid she did inherit the clumsy genes from me :)…She loves it, and it was a big step for her, since the mommies don’t participate at all in the class. Today we went, and she really followed directions (I was so proud watching her!). I know it is hard for her little toddler mind to do that without finding distraction!!

Speaking of toddlerdom…we are really working hard on getting her to follow directions at the moment. It is a challenge for me especially (being the control freak that I am), as my emotional side of my brain says, “JUST DO IT”, while my logical side says I need to find a way to make her ‘want’ to do it. She is starting to do silly things, like take her socks off, and then proceeding to say how cold her feet are (“mommy, put them back on!”) over and over…or taking off her jammies at night to try get us to come into her room and put them back on because she is cold. She is pretty headstrong about her wants at the moment as well. She knows what the potty is, how to use it, but she DOES NOT want to use it. She goes at night and after nap, but beyond that she says she prefers her diaper. Hmmmm….still need to come up with a good tactic for that one…She is also more opinionated lately about what food she wants to eat, which animals she wants in her crib and whether she wants a bath or a shower, what she wants to do at the playground, pretty much everything. While, I don’t want to let her walk all over me with her choices, I’ve noticed if she can have more control over her choices (where I say yes more than no), she and I just get along better and she is more compliant when it really matters, so I am really trying really hard to be patient while she “grows” and learns about the ability to have choices.

She is also gaining more control over her body, and trying to challenge herself at the playground – climbing new jungle gym parts and jumping off of high points. She is gaining some courage in those areas where she had previously been a bit timid. She is also becoming a little more independent. (She still likes to keep me in sight, but she is happy bouncing on the see-saw on her own…)

That brings us to today. I’ve been telling her about the dentist and that we would go and meet one and she would count her teeth. We went in, they did the full cleaning with LOTS of scraping and Bella was such a champ. I sat by her and held her hand, but she was very brave and opened her mouth and kept it open the entire time the hygeinist was cleaning.  I could see from the look in her eyes that it was frightening her a bit – but she let the lady do her job, and then let the dentist come in and check her teeth as well. She had no cavities – and they said that her teeth look great! The dentist said that she would give her a special surprise if she gave up her passy (she still sleeps with it, good luck!) so maybe we’ll give that a go in April…

We are gearing up for the big cruise right now, and I’m hoping we can all stay well so that we can enjoy it. I swear everytime we go to the park it feels more like a hospital cause everyone is hacking and walking around with green slimy noses…

TGIF!

My sweet little Bella,

Tonight I’m having trouble sleeping. A friend of ours just lost his mom to cancer, and when I close my eyes it is all I can think about. So I thought I’d take a little break from laying in bed and checking the clock. I was surfing the net, and then I decided to peek in on you just because I felt like it.

Did you know that you are so beautiful when you are sleeping? You look so peaceful curled up in the blankets hugging one of your “friends” (tonight it is the lamb). Just looking at you comforts me. I am so so so lucky to have you in my life, and I just wanted to jot down this little note to tell you that I love you.

Last week, when my mom was leaving for the airport, I told you I was sad. When we got home, you said, “Mommy, are you still sad Dee Dee is going back to Texas?” I said yes, but I’d be ok, and not to worry about it.  You grabbed around my neck and gave me a huge snuggle (full with an uuuuummph). Then you looked at me straight in the eyes and said, “Does that make you feel any better?”. It does. I love your sweet snuggles – they melt my heart. Daddy does, too – we had fun having a family snuggle tonight before bed. You are such a loving addition to our family – I can’t imagine life without you 🙂

I think I found a preschool I like for you today. I’m excited about that – but sad at the same time, because it will mean less time that we get to spend having mommy/Bella days. I guess I have to let you grow up sometime, right?

Well, I’m getting drowsy now, and I think I can finally get some sleep. Looking forward to my big snuggle in the morning.

Love you,

Mommy

I swear the time goes by way too fast. People always say that about kids growing up too fast – but I think it is just life in general in some ways.

I meant to post about Christmas – but didn’t think to do so when I got back, and now the memories are already jumbled, so I’ll just skip over it a bit and say we did have a great time visiting with both clans, minus a little croup towards the end of the trip. Bella, as usual, was spoiled rotten in both venues, and loved playing with all of her relatives. She and Chandler in particular had a great time together – it is fun for me to see, and reminds me of what Chrissie and I must have been somewhat like as kids. Her favorite Christmas presents so far are a Dora guitar, her kitchen and Violet the dog. She now bounces UP and DOWN on her horsie to the music of Dora the Explorer. I need to get it on video. She is still singing Jingle Bells, Frosty the Snowman and Away in the Manger daily – so it seems Christmas is not quite over in the Neill house.

Poor little Bella has just been sick most of the new year. Sometimes it seems her germs are never-ending. She had croup in Texas, then was well for like two days before she came down with a little cold, which (I think) led to a really bad ear infection (Did you know kids can vomit due to an ear infection?! Apparently the pain was very bad, but she didn’t mention her ears even once…) She is currently on antibiotics – but I have to say, I don’t think they are working (as this afternoon she was very cranky and pulling on her ear), so I am going to take her back to the doctor tomorrow. Bella is normally a very happy child, but when she is not feeling well you can just tell because she is crankier about everything, and makes a big deal of objecting to directions that she normally would follow without skipping a beat, and she stops talking and telling us what she wants opting to throw tantrums instead. I’m hoping that we can get this figured out real soon, as it just makes me sad that she seems unhappy when I’m so used to her cheerful disposition.

Beyond the negative of sickness that we’ve seen so far in 2011, we have started some really fun things too. That one week she felt great – we started gymnastics class – which she LOVES. The teachers are so energetic and enthusiastic – it is the perfect setting for her. We also started back at music class – which is always a hit with her. I swear, that class could have been made specifically with my child in mind the way she takes to it. She also got a visit from Dee Dee; we went to the beach, the farmers market and we had a real nice time redecorating the living room (which I LOVE!).

I’m currently touring all the preschools in the area. Wow. It is going to be really hard to make a decision. We are lucky that we have so many great options in the area – but they are all so different, and I am, of course, obsessing about which program will be just right for her.

Anyhow – just wanted to write down a few thoughts tonight since it had been a while. Hopefully I will get more motivated and get some of those good pictures we got (from my NEW camera) over Christmas on the blog one of these days.

Tonight was the Neill Family traditional visit to the Garden of Lights to see Santa Claus. As usual, it was a great time – there was a children’s choir onstage caroling, we roasted marshmellows, drank some mulled wine (at least the adults did), went on our horse drawn carriage ride through the children’s garden…but the highlight was Santa.

Last year, Bella didn’t like Santa very much…and wouldn’t even go near him without both Jeremy and I there, and one of us even had to hold her. This year, I’ve really been trying to convince her he’s a good guy. The day before Thanksgiving, we were running an errand at the outlets, and they opened up the Santa house there early. Since there was no one out shopping, and the place was empty, I suggested we stop by and just say hi to Santa. She walked into the house, and she immediately started backing into me, and wouldn’t even take the candy cane that he was trying to bribe her with…I told her it was ok, just to give him a quick wave and we left. When we were walking out to the car, she said, “Mommy, I don’t like that house, I don’t want to go there anymore.” I said, “No problem, we don’t have to see him again today – don’t worry about it.” She said, “Mommy, I really just don’t like Santa Claus.”  “Really?” I said. “But if you don’t like Santa Claus, he may not bring you any presents…” She said, “That’s OK, Mommy…I don’t really need presents.”  Hmmmm….After Thanksgiving, we started reading the Elf On A Shelf Book. (She named our Quoca.) She loves the book, and looks for him first thing every morning…and I was hoping that the book was convincing her that since he was Santa’s helper – Santa was a good guy. Santa even sent her a message through the computer (WHICH SHE LOVED!) Click Here to see it. And, tonight was the big night for our visit and photo op…The photo posted above was our second visit to Santa. The first visit went something like this. “Bella, want to go see Santa?” “Ok”…Standing at an arms length distance so he couldn’t touch her with mommy trying to push her forward, “Hi, Santa, thank you for my computer message.” “Ho, Ho, Ho – what would you like for Christmas sweetheart?” Bella backing up, “I’d like some furniture for my Doll House…” Mommy and Daddy, “Bella, want to sit on Santa’s lap for a picture.” “No.” “Ok – how about you just go stand by Santa…” “mmm, I think I’ll go stand by the Christmas tree.” – Photo was snapped – smile was nowhere near happening. Then Santa said, “Let me give you your first Christmas present from Santa this year…and handed her a candy cane.”  She reluctantly took it. Little did we know, this would be Santa’s turning point.

After leaving the little gazebo with Santa, I unwrapped the candy cane and gave it to her. She loved it – it was her first candy cane ever. After all the fun of the evening, we were getting ready to head home and Bella asked if she could have another candy cane. We said we didn’t have any…but Santa probably had more, she could go ask for one if she wanted, but Santa probably would only give her a second candy cane if she took a picture with him. It still took a little convincing once she was “on the stage”, but once her little hot hand was on that candy and Santa wasn’t letting go, she was willing to give us a quick – somewhat clench toothed  smile. The second that photo was over she was bolting down to us to open it up. What an evening!

Well, as usual, I don’t have my act together anywhere near enough to actually get Christmas Cards out – so here’s my computer version.

The Neill Family wishes you a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS and a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

It was 85 degrees today! We met up with the Tiemans and Radcliffes at LegoLand…Bella had a blast! This one is the train ride, but she rode her first bonafide roller coaster today – and giggled the whole time.

Turns out going to a pumpkin patch around here is alot more than just picking out a pumpkin…

Last night, we decided to go and pick out our carver for our neighborhood party on Saturday. The Turner’s joined us, and the kids had a fantastic time. Jumpy house, slide, petting zoo and dizzy rides – wow, pumpkin patches have come a long way since I was a kid.

So. I haven’t posted in a really long time. It has been a very difficult summer for me. I lost my dad. I know this blog is meant to be about Bella’s life, but she lost her Pa Pa – so this loss is hers as well.

I never really thought about what it would be like to lose a parent. I always figured mine were invincible – and I knew that they would live to be crotchety old ninety something year olds. I’ve always viewed them as so YOUNG (and really I stilI do…) This has been a such a shock to my system, that I don’t think I’ve processed it, and already a couple of months have passed. I don’t think the loss of a parent is something that you can ever “get over”, as there will always be a void in your life that they once filled. I’ve always thought of my family as a constant…so many other aspects of life come and go and change with the wind or my whim. Dad will never see Bella grow to be a bratty teenager (and me get my payback). I will never be able to have him sit down and really explain how to be financially smart. I won’t get anymore free business advice, or a sympathetic ear for when I’m frustrated with something going on with my business. Bella won’t get to see what a smart and silly person her grandpa can be. I won’t have anyone to remind me to chill out over the hectic holidays. He won’t be there to remind me to call mom as much as I can. I wish that I had told him how much he meant to me, and how he was my safety net. Dad won’t get to meet my second child (if we ever decide to have one…) All of these thoughts make me so angry and bring tears to my eyes and swallow me in a bubble of sadness that I don’t really want to confront, so I often stay busy and don’t think about it.

I don’t really want to go into the details so much of the last few months, but they included hospital visits to see my dad at MD Anderson, Bella’s & my birthday, finding out my dad was on his deathbed, funeral planning, 3 weeks in Texas visiting with my mom, visiting friends in Simi Valley, Bella being sick for two months straight ending with a very bad infection causing high fevers for days, her first hives from being allergic to the antibiotic, and Jeremy being sick. While there was some good (visits/bdays, even a surprise party for me), there was alot of depressing stuff going on in there, and I don’t think I have the heart to write it all down in detail so I can remember it later. I would rather just remember the good stuff in my head.

So I think I’ll start with a good memory of my dad. It is one of those silly ones from childhood, but one that is so my dad or as my friend, Liz would say, “Mr. A”. After becoming a parent, I often thought about how Dad would work very hard, and then pay for these amazing vacations for us, and then often, us kids would be cranky or sick or even unappreciative of the fun my parents would try to have with us (like most kids are…thus the frustration that almost every parent faces). I feel like despite that, Dad was always laughing to himself a bit, enthusiastic about having a good time, keeping a positive outlook and eventually that would catch on (it is certainly evident in a home video from our Disney World trip that my mom and I watched while I was in TX)..On a family vacation to Phoenix with the Godwins, (where my sister was sick, I fell and hurt myself rollerskating down a ridiculous hill, and we were not overly thrilled with the “natural beauty” of a 5 hour drive through desert & canyons), we went to this great (for kids) restaurant. As an adult, I know now that they didn’t take us here for their enjoyment, but more to keep us happy and busy while they had a cocktail (parents deserve a break, too, right?!). It was one of those places “geared for keeping your kid entertained”, and they did a good job, because right as you walk to your table you can either decide to take the (fairly steep) slide or the stairs – duh, for any kid – it is slide. All the kids are sliding down having a great time, and dad says he’s going to take the slide too. Kids think, “cool”. He says, I’m going backwards…(note to self, kids have much lower centers of gravity.) As he flew backward down the slide, he proceeded to do an awesome back/roll flip (not on purpose) and flop right on to the ground…I’m not sure if he had a margarita in hand, but in my mind he does, and he doesn’t spill a drop (ok, I might be embellishing a bit…). Once we’re sure he’s ok, we all crack up and burst into applause, and he’s laughing it up with us. The life of the party. Making sure everyone is having a good time. Making the most of the situation that he is in. Happy. That is my dad.

My good memories, us in Vegas sitting at a Black Jack table (me 7 mos preggers), while he was kicking the casino’s butt, him telling me to go and travel after college and see Europe (knowing full well, once I started working, I’d probably never get a chance to do it again…), taking craps lessons on the Alaska Cruise, him telling me to work harder on a high school class when I wanted to move down a level (he was right, I would be able to get a good grade if I tried harder…), hanging out and fishing in Galveston on the boat, his signature greeting to my boyfriends or girlfriends growing up, “howdy pardna”, or “hey girl”, being the dracula at our haunted house halloween party (with Kevin as the mini-me dracula), grilling venison sausage wraps at the National Championship tailgate, so many more I can’t even count…I will always keep the good memories of my dad close to my heart so that someday I can tell Bella what a great Pa Pa she had.

My mom and dad have always made me feel like “if I put my mind to it, I could accomplish anything…” Both of my parent pushed me to be who I am today, and I love them dearly for that. I only hope that I can be as good of a parent to my child as they were/are to me.